One morning I sat before my laptop, coffee in hand, brain plugged in, and brainstormed the next steps for Revivify. There were - what felt like a million - tasks to complete: select a vendor, design products, design labels, order packaging, labels and containers, buy products - it was all too much. In addition to the product management, merchandising and selling, I also had to consider marketing. The blogs aren't going to write themselves, the banners and ads aren't going to self manifest and post on social media. And the business documentation, I had to ensure the correct documents were filed, taxes paid, expenses paid and tracked - and from the business account to keep personal and business expenses separate. I had to be a technician, a manager and an executive, simultaneously. Not even my coffee was strong enough to help me muscle through the wave decisions. Where would I began? How could I possibly do it all...alone?
Saturday morning was my day! Saturday would usually afford me time to sleep late, indulge in a breakfast for lunch, and possibly a late morning run before a conference call with my mother and sister that would undoubtedly last for two hours, at least - or not. What was so great about Saturday, was that Saturday always had a clean slate, an open agenda. I had no place to go, no people to see and I'd often keep my calendar open and the hours reserved for myself. That was until I decided to start a business, to teach myself about self care and share my experiences with the world, while working a full time, high maintenance job.
Now my Saturday was maxed out, booked beyond belief with self-assigned work. All I wanted was to bang my head against the table, once, twice and three times and force my brain to pick a direction. Any direction would be better than being stagnant, after all. But force wouldn't make me think faster, enhance my creativity or bring a revelation. In the words of Bugs Bunny "Agony....oh agony agony."
I had questions and no answers, endless options and no idea which direction was truly authentic to who I am, who I want to be and what I want to share. But there was one thing I knew with absolute certainty. Stressing over building a business was exactly the opposite of what Revivify stands for. Revivify, which is about being self aware, kind to oneself and relentless in its effort to educate about the importance of mindfulness, self love and self care, especially in high stress situations, would encourage me to put myself first, take a break and revisit the tasks later. Revivify would encourage me to get fresh air, clear my mind, and divert my energy toward a less taxing task.
So while I set out to change the world in one sitting, I went for a jog. I laced up my Asics, plugged in my earbuds and let my feet carry me away from my task list.
Before I moved to Los Angeles, I lived in Delray Beach, Florida. I enjoyed living there, a few miles from the beach and Atlantic Boulevard, a scenic strip of shops and restaurants. I felt alive and motivated at that time in my life. It was during those six months when I started eating clean, and exercising with intention. I began to invision the best version of myself and so I took steps toward becoming the person I knew I could be.
I started my mornings with a 2-3 mile jog, with the goal of one day running a 5k. Over five years ago now, that was the last time I jogged with consistency. Over time I lost the desire to exert the effort. I would later learn that what I thought was depression was actually symptoms of being anemic.
For a long period I was stuck. Not motivated to exercise or do much other than watch television. But as I found my rhythm, I realized, I had become free from the weight that immobilized me. And just so, I would one day be free to move forward with Revivify. To answer the many questions that boggled my mind at the start of the day.
At this time in my life I have come to learn that being stuck - thought frustrating it may be - is an opportunity to move to another direction, to over come a parallel obstacle that we are prepared to handle.